For as long as I can remember I have felt like I don’t always fit in.
Honestly *I hope some of you can relate here* but during my teenage years I felt like I was different in a bad way. I remember a period of time that I would actively try and suppress my personalty, I was that person who made everyone laugh and I started to dislike that. Another thing I’m noticing more as I get older is that without even realising, social media has made me feel like I need to fit into one category. I feel like a good way to explain myself relates to style. On Instagram you see people that have a sense of style, they will always shop in the same few stores and do things in a certain way, I envy that they are so sure of themselves and know exactly what they want. One day I’m wearing something cute and girly, the next I’ll wear one of my husbands old shirts, ripped jeans and trainers – and I like both!
Another thing – every year there are awards to celebrate blogging/ bloggers and the blogs always fall into categories such as beauty, lifestyle, fashion, travel etc – it always makes me wonder, where do I come into this? I blog about all of those things AND more. Not that I’m too bothered about winning an award (although that would be lovely), it’s more the lack of belonging that I felt the first time I realised a couple of years ago that I just didn’t fit into one of the categories. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong, and again, not fitting in with the norm!
So, in many aspects of my life, I just don’t fit in! I don’t fit into the tick boxes created, and I can’t force myself to either. Maybe I’m just someone who is quite indecisive and likes a lot of different things. As I’m getting older and meeting more people, I’m realising that there’s also a few of us that are just taking life as it comes, whether they fit into the tick boxes or not.
It’s ok not to fit into a box. One day I’m the type of person who loves a night out, the next day I’m in bed by 9 listening to a podcast.
Throughout most of my teenage years and early twenties I have been trying to discover exactly what it is that I love, always wondering along the way why I can’t pin point one thing and be all for that. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s ok, I’m still figuring things out and actually it’s quite nice to be open minded about everything while I’m young!
I’ve spoken about the law of attraction before and I feel like it crosses over with this quite a lot, the more I’m learning to look at the positives the more I’m appreciating who I am in a positive way too. It’s ok to be unsure of certain things and I shouldn’t feel any pressure to be anything but myself. I’ve realised that actually blogging in itself is something I’m sure about and absolutely love, it doesn’t matter what I blog about – I’m still a part of the community and I do in a way fit in!
If you feel the same then know you’re not alone, and also know that actually it doesn’t matter. It might make it harder to reach certain decisions but I’ve found the more I experience in life the more I can whittle down the list of things I like/ dislike.
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