It’s not something I usually speak about on my blog, but considering it’s such a big part of my life I thought I would share my two cents on what it’s really like to be in a long distance relationship. The pros, cons, and how I cope!
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 4 and a half years now, so it’s something I’ve grown used to. I went to uni and my other half went to work, we didn’t know whether things would work out but we wanted to try our best. We usually see each other once or twice a month a weekend at a time, but in 3 weeks time Jays going away with work for 4 months – what better time to write this post eh!
I think trust and keeping ourselves busy are the two ways that it works, and has done for the past 4 years. Obviously I write my blog and work full time, and with this I’ve found that I don’t have the time to miss Jay! And he’s the same, he keeps busy. Having said that, we do always make time for each other, which I think is so important. We will be on the phone every single day, whether it’s a 5 minute chat or 50 minutes, every day we keep in contact *thankful for unlimited texts and minutes*. Effort needs to be put in from both sides with this, otherwise it just doesn’t work.
There really are so many positive aspects when it comes to being in a long distance relationship. One of the major things that’s amazing for both of us is how much we’ve been able to grow as individuals, as much as we miss each other, no matter the situation I know I can rely on myself and get by. I’m independent and I’m pretty proud of that!
Another positive is how valuable the time we spend together has become, of-course we argue at times but we soon realise that bickering over something petty just isn’t worth it. When Jay does come home we make the effort to go out and do things with each other, if we lived together at this moment in time we either wouldn’t be able to afford it or just wouldn’t bother as much.
Financially it’s been amazing! Jay is already on the property ladder and rents his place out, and I live at home with my mum and step dad. It’s meant that we’ve been able to save enough money to pay off our wedding before hand, no debt at all.
Honestly I could go on and on about the pros – I keep them in the forefront of my mind, it’s a good reminder that it’s all worth it!
Of-course the most obvious con is missing your other half. There’s no worse feeling than having the best weekend then having to say goodbye! A less obvious con is something that’s quite hard to put into words, but I’ll try my best. When Jay comes home I almost feel like my place is my own, and I find it quite hard to share that with him.
My guess is that this is completely normal, but it’s something I rarely see or hear being mentioned. It’s a hard transition going from your own company to having someone by your side again. If I haven’t seen Jay for 3 weeks +, for the first few hours of him being home I’m often quite reserved. It soon wears off but it’s a feeling I’ve noticed reoccurring, especially when he’s away for long periods of time. It isn’t easy being long distance, it gets so incredibly lonely and it can be so easy to just mope around and feel sorry for myself. Everyone’s situation is different and learning to embrace that and think of all the positives is a good way to get through a bad day.
I hope that this has been insightful for anyone interested, long distance relationships are becoming more and more common, and just because they are not the norm doesn’t mean they can’t be amazing.